It is important for us as single people to set boundaries on our emotions, as the writer of Proverbs says, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23). We must guard our hearts carefully or we will end up giving bits of them away.
Our emotions belong first and foremost to God, then to ourselves, family and friends. We give them. They are not taken from us and we are not owed anything for giving them–we give them as a gift. We do not need to feel obligated to give them out willy-nilly. We must not prostitute our emotions. It may seem crude to put it that way, but so often (in my case anyway) we waste our affection on “puppy-love” relationships and infatuations that go nowhere. And when these infatuations finally die off, we find ourselves looking for another place to dump our affections, only to discover we are again wasting our time, our love. We have invested a part of our hearts in the “relationship”, reciprocated or not, and we can’t get it back.
We are not heart whole anymore. Every time our “crush” dies, part of our heart dies with it. We have emotional hang ups that can last our life time.
It is right to desire a relationship with a “Significant Other,” God created us with longings for a soul mate(“It is not good that the man should be alone” Gen 2:18), but it is not right to begrudge others their relationships and the affection that that involves. As a single person, we must give our whole heart to God. Our affection is not to be engaged elsewhere–especially not brooding and being discontent with the situation God has set us in.
Our job as a single person is to keep our emotions unattached until God brings us into contact with our future spouse. This, of course, depends on His will regarding our lives: if we are meant to be single, we will be. We cannot try and “help” God to find us a soul mate. We need to take our lesson from Abraham, and not try and fulfill God’s promises for Him (ie. Hagar and Ishmael).
We must wait in God, place our trust in Him. This does not mean we are waiting for something, such as proof that our waiting for a Significant Other will pay out in the end. We must wait and trust that He will do what is best for us–not that He will do what we think is best for us.
Oswald Chambers said (My Utmost for His Highest), that the first type (waiting for a sign) of “[w]aiting for God is incarnate unbelief, it means that I have no faith in Him; I wait for Him to do something in me that I may trust in that…. It is a question of faith in God–the rarest thing; we have faith only in our feelings.”
This is such a common trap. We cannot rely upon our feelings–they are much too fleeting. We cannot place our hope in another mere human. We need Someone more to have real faith in or we are lost. We will drown in the surf of our surging emotions if we do not have a Rock to cling to in their midst.
But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Matt 14:30-31
And yet God works in us, despite our questioning and doubts. We must be careful that we are not only buoyed up by our feelings, but by true faith and trust in Christ.
But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!”
And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?”
Matt 14:30-31
And yet God works in us, despite our questioning and doubts. We must be careful that we are not only buoyed up by our feelings, but by true faith and trust in Christ.
Let us hold fast the profession of our faith without wavering; (for he is faithful that promised).Hebrews 10:23
No comments:
Post a Comment